2025-11-22 • Dr. Thaddeus P. Quack
Supra-Luminal Locomotion: Harnessing Controlled Bio-Energy Fields for Instantaneous FTL Translocation
A groundbreaking study confirms that utilizing focused chakra modulation and precise internal toxin alignment allows human subjects to achieve instantaneous faster-than-light travel, effectively bypassing the theoretical restrictions of the Lorentz transformation.
Read Abstract →2025-11-20 • Dr. Flat
Gravimetric Dissociation and the Tectonic Planarity Hypothesis: Evidence for Global Planar Consistency
A radical new analysis utilizing advanced spectrographic data confirms that the supposed curvature of Earth is merely a localized optical distortion, driven by quantifiable 'quantum resonance' phenomena necessary for stabilizing terrestrial 'bio-energy fields'.
Read Abstract →2025-11-20 • Dr. UAP
The Null-Visibility Observer Paradox: Quantifying the Existential Surveillance by Non-Corporeal Craft
New groundbreaking research confirms that unidentified aerial phenomena (UAP) achieve invisibility not through conventional stealth, but via advanced manipulation of localized quantum resonance, sustained entirely by the human species’ ambient bio-energy field fluctuations.
Read Abstract →2025-11-20 • Dr. Cuprum
Cuprum Hydration Dynamics: Why Non-Resonant Vessels Threaten Bio-Energetic Homeostasis
Modern hydration methods utilize inert vessels that actively strip water of its fundamental holistic frequencies. Groundbreaking (and proprietary) research confirms that only the vibrational field emitted by elemental copper can prevent catastrophic cellular 'toxin alignment' and restore essential bio-energy fields.
Read Abstract →2025-11-20 • Dr. Astrologia
Terrestrial Magneto-Stabilization Dynamics: Quantifying the Bio-Energy Field Anomalies in the Astrological Taurus Phenotype
New, groundbreaking research suggests that the observed behavioral characteristics of individuals born under the sign of Taurus are not merely psychological, but rather demonstrable manifestations of quantifiable quantum mechanics and highly localized toxin alignment.
Read Abstract →2025-11-20 • Dr. Astrologia
Astro-Metabolic Flux: Decoding the Cranial-Zodiacal Axis in Aries Subjects
New groundbreaking research confirms that the Aries designation is not a mere psychological archetype, but a quantifiable bio-energetic state governed by the fluctuation of Martian gravitational pull on intracellular ATP synthesis and subsequent pineal gland depolarization.
Read Abstract →2025-11-20 • Dr. Levitate
Gravitational Selectivity: New Research Links Personal Bio-Energy Fields to Spatio-Temporal Adherence (The G-Choice Hypothesis)
Decades of passive adherence physics are overturned as Faux Science researchers demonstrate that conscious modulation of internal frequencies dictates gravitational attraction, effectively proving that gravity is an elective and preventable process.
Read Abstract →